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Walderwick
Walderwick

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Jul 21, 2022

In Which She Gets Starbucks After a Breakup

— What can I get for you today? — I never know what I want, or so I’m told. What do you recommend? — The Skinny Peppermint Mocha is good. — Where do you see that? I don’t see it. — It’s written on the big sign above me that…

Starbucks

2 min read

In Which She Gets Starbucks After a Breakup
In Which She Gets Starbucks After a Breakup
Starbucks

2 min read


Jul 18, 2022

How I Abused Costco’s Generous Return Policy [Inspirational]

Some of us face obstacles in our lives. We suffer discrimination over immutable traits like punctuality. We lack spatialawareness. We have loving, nurturing parents on whom it’s tricky to pin our flaws. …

Humor

4 min read

How I Abused Costco’s Generous Return Policy [Inspirational]
How I Abused Costco’s Generous Return Policy [Inspirational]
Humor

4 min read


Jul 17, 2022

Planetariums, as Explained by an Ill-informed Father to His Kids

During breakfast one Sunday, I announced to my four children we would be going to the planetarium. None of them heard me. My youngest was banging his fork on the table in a manner loud enough to wake Mars. The two middle children were trying to resolve an interpersonal conflict…

Humor

4 min read

Planetariums, as Explained by an Ill-informed Father to His Kids
Planetariums, as Explained by an Ill-informed Father to His Kids
Humor

4 min read


Jan 29, 2022

Excellent Ideas for a Time Capsule

Last Saturday afternoon, while rummaging through sofa cushions, looking for the remote control, turning up silverware, batteries, and pillow fort-building children trapped in a collapse of microfiber rubble, I came upon the idea of doing a time capsule. A time capsule, as you may know, is a collection of goods…

Humor

4 min read

Excellent Ideas for a Time Capsule
Excellent Ideas for a Time Capsule
Humor

4 min read


Jan 20, 2022

Outstanding Financial Advice or Half Your Money Back

I often receive letters from readers asking questions about personal finance. This is partly due to my reputation as an expert in the field of passing familiarity with money matters and partly due to there being a personal finance guru across the street with a confusingly similar mailing address. But…

Humor

3 min read

Outstanding Financial Advice or Half Your Money Back
Outstanding Financial Advice or Half Your Money Back
Humor

3 min read


Jan 13, 2022

Outsourcing: How to Buy Gifts for Your Wife

I’m in trouble. My wife’s birthday is in two days, and I don’t have anything for her. I need something heartfelt, something that shows I really know and appreciate her, and something that, judging from her reaction to last year’s gift, in no way resembles a tape dispenser. Not that…

Humor

3 min read

Outsourcing: How to Buy Gifts for Your Wife
Outsourcing: How to Buy Gifts for Your Wife
Humor

3 min read


Jan 8, 2022

New Year’s Devolutions

As we begin 2022, I am once again intent on making New Year’s resolutions. It is time I make changes for the better. It is time I finally commit to self-improvement. …

Humor

3 min read

New Year’s Devolutions
New Year’s Devolutions
Humor

3 min read


Dec 29, 2021

History Plagues Us

As I write this, in December 2021, we are on the brink of being overrun by the Omicron variant of the coronavirus. Though it sounds like a disaster film with the production value of a Dunder Mifflin training video, the Omicron variant is in fact a highly transmissible form of…

Humor

4 min read

History Plagues Us
History Plagues Us
Humor

4 min read


Dec 22, 2021

A Tiny Chance of Success

Today I am excited to tell you about a revolutionary new self-help program called “Tiny Habits.” No, Tiny Habits is not, as I first thought, a clothing store for diminutive nuns. Rather, it is a science-acquainted program for creating small personal habits to last a lifetime or longer. …

Humor

4 min read

A Tiny Chance of Success
A Tiny Chance of Success
Humor

4 min read


Dec 14, 2021

Why I Write Humor

Today I am going to explore why I write humor. My therapist asked me to write on this topic because he wanted to better understand, as he tactfully put it, “what went so wrong with you.” This therapeutic kick in the teeth aside, I agreed, and this column is the…

Humor

2 min read

Why I Write Humor
Why I Write Humor
Humor

2 min read

Walderwick

Walderwick

47 Followers

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